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Have you ever received an e-mail from someone who was wondering what the population of Cambodia is? You, being the friendly person you are, reply to them: 14,200,000.
Well, I'm done. I'm not e-mailing back responses. From now on I am e-mailing a link.
Example:
Dear Elmo,
After much research and interviews of the local Cambodian population, I've found out the population. Having been the good citizen, I think I shall retire to my lazy boy and much on a cookie or three.
Hope this helps,
Cookie.
Showing posts with label Stupid People. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stupid People. Show all posts
Friday, April 17, 2009
Thursday, March 5, 2009
More on that Michael Jackson...
Stupid People do Stupid Things
Stranger Shows Up at Funeral, Hits Dead Man
[It gets weirder... just wait...]
Laurens County (The Greenville News) - Tammy Fausel said that she and her family were shocked at what happened during her uncle's funeral in Gray Court. [And for good reason.]
A Candler, N.C., woman [Shown here.] danced in front of the service, waved a wand around the casket, opened the lid, laid her hands on the deceased's head and struck the body with a wand, according to an incident report from the Laurens County Sheriff's Office. [She's a witch! Burn her! Burn her!]
Nicole Marie Loretta Leonard, 25, has been charged with disturbing a funeral and public disorderly conduct in Tuesday's incident, according to tickets. [According to Dr. Lienmack Dubrow, she wasn't due out of the psyche ward for another decade or so.]
Fausel said she had never before seen the woman and had no idea why she would've been at funeral at Church of God on State 14.
"Everybody was just kind of flabbergasted," she said. "They didn't know what was going on." [I can be redundant too! I can say everything twice! Also: Flabbergasted is an amazing word to use here.]
The woman took flowers from the top of the casket and threw them at the family before leaving in a burgundy Toyota, according to the report. [This is no laughing matter... She was demon possessed.]
Fausel said she called the Sheriff's Office.
A lieutenant intercepted a burgundy Toyota Corolla heading south on Interstate 385, according to the incident report.
When deputies asked the woman why she acted the way she did, the woman said "she felt that it was the right thing to do at the time," according to the report. The woman told deputies she knew no one at the church, according to the report. [There is no better reason...]
Fausel said the deceased's immediate family were in another room at the time of the incident and didn't witness it.
Leonard, of 117 Davis Creek, was released from the Johnson Detention Center Wednesday, according to jail officials and tickets. ["Authorities say the woman will have a mental evaluation."]
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Stupid People do Stupid Things
Man jumps off taxiing airliner
The unidentified man opened a door and slid down an inflatable emergency chute.
A 26-year-old passenger on board an American Airlines jet from Charlotte to Dallas opened a door and slid down an inflatable emergency chute Tuesday as the aircraft waited to taxi to its gate at Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport. [I'll hold my comments off for a while. This could get interesting.]
The man, who had not been identified Tuesday night, reportedly ran into the first class section of American Airlines Flight 1343 and opened the exit door, according to an airport advisory. The plane, an MD-80[Shown here.], had just arrived from Charlotte/Douglas International Airport about 1 p.m. and was parked on a ramp when the incident happened. [So it got to it's destination, the man just couldn't wait...]
After opening the door, the man deployed the inflatable slide and slid down to the Aircraft Operations Area, where he was held by American fleet service clerks until airport public safety officers took him into custody. [After being detained, the man tried to convince authorities his name was Jack Bauer and he works for CTU, the then blabbered on about a terrorist plot involving ping pong balls, bubble wrap, and AirForce One, this only got him into more trouble.]
The incident caused no delays to the airport's other flight operations. [But what turns out to be a very funny spectacle.]
Charlotte historian Pamela Grundy was on the plane, sitting several rows back from the passenger who jumped. The man, she said, was with his mother, who tried to stop him.
“I wasn't really paying attention until there was a scuffle upfront,” Grundy said. “The pilot called for passengers to come and help. Several guys moved to the front, but then someone said, ‘Well, he's jumped out.' You could see him running on the tarmac.”
The plane sat for several minutes while workers closed the door so the plane could continue on to gate A37 at Terminal C. The man's mother returned to her seat and asked a flight attendant to apologize to the other passengers for her son's actions. The attendant did, Grundy said.
“Then the jokes started and they made me sick,” she said. “He's clearly a troubled human being, with people who care about him. Who knows what's going to happen to him.” [Four cookies to whoever comes up with the funniest joke. I imagine they were something like, "Looks like he fell asleep when he was supposed to be Hijaking the plane..."]
By 4:15 p.m., the man had been questioned by FBI agents and taken to a hospital [Read: Asylum] for evaluation, an airport spokesman said. The spokesman didn't know if the man was from Charlotte, or why he jumped from the plane. [I guess they should have just believed that he was Jack Bauer...]
“That's what the authorities are trying to determine,” the spokesman said. [Popular theories: He watched Fox's new show, Fringe. He's watched three too many episodes of 24. He is a contestant on The Apprentice, and he didn't want to be fired.]
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