Monday, June 29, 2009

Straight up Pope

This doesn't really belong at my new space, so I bring to you the obsession of this blog: THE POPE


Pope says bone fragments found in St Paul's tomb


ROME, June 28, 2009 (Reuters) — Pope Benedict announced on Sunday that fragments of bone from the first or second century had been found in a tomb in the Basilica of St Paul in Rome, which he said confirmed the belief that it housed the apostle's remains.

Pope Benedict XVI is helped by aides during the Vespri's ceremony at the Basilica of St. Paul's Outside the Walls in Rome June 28, 2008 REUTERS/Alessandro Bianchi

"This seems to confirm the unanimous and undisputed tradition that these are the mortal remains on the Apostle Paul," the pontiff said at St Paul's-Outside-the-Walls, on the eve of the Feasts of St Peter and St Paul celebrated on Monday.

Peter and Paul are revered by Christians as the greatest early missionaries. Converting on the road to Damascus following a blinding vision of Jesus, Paul took the Gospel to pagan Greeks and Romans and met his martyrdom in Rome in about AD 65.

Christian tradition had it that St Paul was buried together with St Peter in a catacomb on the Via Appia, before being moved to the basilica erected in his honor. For centuries it was believed that his remains were buried beneath the altar.

But it was not until a stone sarcophagus was discovered there in 2006 that Vaticanarcheologists could apply scientific research to the religious tradition.

The first results come during the "Pauline Year," when the Roman Catholic church has been celebrating the second millennium of the birth of the "Apostle of the Gentiles."

Pope Benedict gave details of the discovery, saying a tiny hole had been drilled in the sarcophaguus to permit inspection of the interior, revealing "traces of a precious linen cloth, purple in color, laminated with pure gold, and a blue colored textile with filaments of linen."

"It also revealed the presence of grains of red incense and traces of protein and limestone. There were also tiny fragments of bone, which, when subjected to Carbon 14 tests by experts, turned out to belong to someone who lived in the first or second century," said the pope.

FRESCOED IMAGE

The discovery of the bone fragments coincided with news that Vatican archaeologists had discovered what they believe is the oldest image in existence of St Paul, dating from the late 4th century, on the walls of catacomb beneath Rome.

Vatican newspaper Osservatore Romano, revealing the find on Sunday, published a picture of a frescoed image of the face of a man with a pointed black beard on a red background, inside a bright yellow halo. The high forehead is furrowed.

Experts of the Ponitifical Commission for Sacred Archaeology made the discovery on June 19 in the Catacomb of Santa Tecla in Rome and described it as the "oldest icon in history dedicated to the cult of the Apostle," according to the Vatican newspaper.

Early Christians in Rome buried their dead in catacombs dug into the soft rock under the city and decorated the underground walls with devotional images, often in the Pompeian style.



Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Moved

Seeing as I'm now home and have a server there. I've moved this blog to there. I may even take some of the posts with me.

p.s. wordpress is better. (That'll get this blog deleted for sure.)

Thursday, May 14, 2009

A Puzzle? That's not news!


Puzzle:
Shown above are 4 men buried up to their necks in the ground. They can not move so can only look forward. Between A and B is a brick wall which can not be seen through. They know that between them are 4 hats, 2 are black and 2 are white, but they do not know which color they are wearing. In order to avoid being shot one of them must call out to the executioner the color of their hat. If they get it wrong, everyone will be shot. They are not allowed to talk to each other and have 10 minutes to fathom it out.

After 1 minute:

Qestion: Which one of them calls out ?

Qestion: Why is he 100% certain of the color of his hat ?

Notes: This is not a trick question. There are no outside influences nor other ways of communicating. They cannot move and are buried in a straight line. So A & B can only see their respective sides of the brick wall, C can see B, and D can see B & C.

I'll post the answer in the comment section later.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Number 4:

Number four on the 'List of things not photoshopped:

That car rendered from what looks like vector graphics from an old-school arcade game is a wire-frame sculpture by artist Benedict Radcliffe. And we mean an actual frame made of wires.

Reportedly, it received a ticket for being illegally parked, though if we had been there we'd have quickly gotten another ticket for climbing inside, picking it up and running down the street making engine sounds.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Think before you act:

(Or what appeals to college guys)

This post comes from J.D. Roth at Get Rich Slowly.

On the first day of college, I opened my first bank account.

The gym was filled with registration tables, not just for classes and clubs, but also for local businesses wanting to sell themselves to the students. There were even a couple of banks. Because I was getting a small payment from the school to cover living expenses, I needed to open a checking account.

The two banks had very different methods of attracting students. One displayed a sign that said "free checking." The other was handing out Frisbees. My choice was easy. I wanted the Frisbee. (Free checking? How boring.)

I signed up for my checking account, got my free Frisbee, and spent the afternoon on the quad, tossing the disc back and forth with my roommates. When it was time for dinner, I took the Frisbee up to my room, put it in the closet, and never used it again. But I had that checking account for nearly 17 years.

Classes started. I forgot about the Frisbee, and I forgot about the checking account. The next month, I received my first bank statement. There was a $5 service charge, but I didn't care. It was just $5, right? I accepted the fee as part of the package, and as part of being an adult. My parents had always paid service charges on their bank accounts, and I expected I always would, too.

I paid $5 a month to maintain my checking account throughout college. When I graduated, I continued to pay $5 a month. In the early 1990s, the fee increased to $8 a month. This bugged my wife (who had the same account), so she went into the bank and had them switch her to free checking. I didn't do anything.

In 1998, I cut up my credit cards and transferred the debt to a home-equity loan held at the same bank as my checking account. It occurred to me that maybe I could get the same free account that Kris had moved to a few years earlier. I asked. They said no, the only account available for me was the one I had. I accepted that answer and kept paying my $8 a month.

In fact, I paid a monthly fee for checking from September 1987 until June 2004. For 202 months -- nearly 17 years -- I paid $5 or $8 a month to have a checking account. In 2004, as part of my financial awakening, I closed my accounts at the bank and moved them to a local credit union. The credit union never charges me fees at all.

During the first episode of "The Personal Finance Hour," I mentioned this story. As I spoke, it occurred to me that the "free" Frisbee wasn't really free. Not even close. Roughing out the numbers, it's clear that this one poor choice alone cost me about $1,500 -- enough to buy hundreds of Frisbees.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Number 5:

Number five on the list 'Things not photoshopped': Ents!

These laughably fake-looking tree men are in fact made using a technique called arborsculpture. The trees are bound and grafted as they grow, forming them into all kinds of ridiculous shapes. If you're curious what a typical day looks like for the guy behind these painstaking sculptures, the answer is: exactly what you think.

Oops!

PARIS (Reuters) - France intercepted 11 suspected Somali pirates on Sunday after they mistook a French naval ship for a commercial vessel and started heading toward it in preparation for an attack, a Defense Ministry spokesman said.

[It's going to be really hard for me to take pirates seriously from now on. It would surprise me if they could get any more incompetent. The boat has a GIANT GUN on the front. How could they mistake this:

For this:
Anyways, onto the rest of the story.]

Heavily-armed* Somali pirates have stepped up their attacks on vessels in Indian Ocean shipping lanes and the Gulf of Aden, capturing dozens of vessels, kidnapping hundreds of hostages and raking in millions of dollars in ransoms.[I suggest: Read this as good fiction. The numbers aren't acurate. They are made up to make good story.]

The French navy seized the suspected pirates, who were in three small boats, 1,000 kilometers (600 miles) off the coast of Somalia in the Indian Ocean.

“They confused the Nivose with a commercial ship and rushed toward it, to intercept it,” the spokesman said.

“The Nivose then put its own craft in the water with its commandos and sent out a helicopter and stopped these 11 pirates who were on these three boats.”

Two were small boats which the pirates use for attacks and the third was the mother ship which is used to transport supplies such as petrol, water and food.

The commandos also found guns and rockets on the boats. [The French have Commandos? Footnote needed.]

“The pirates are currently on the Nivose,” he said.

“For the moment we don’t have any indication of what the European Union forces want to do with these pirates.” [They won't imprison them, they won't execute them. Euros are sissies. I say give 'em the traditional punishment: Hang 'em. Hang 'em all!]

A French naval patrol seized three more pirates in Seychelles’ waters on Saturday and handed them over to the coastguard, the islands’ president’s office said.

The attacks have disrupted U.N. aid supplies, driven up insurance costs and forced some firms to consider routing cargo between Europe and Asia around South Africa instead.

Naval forces from the United States, Europe and Asia have been deployed to protect merchant ships.

*Pirates may or may not have had heavy arms. Nicknamed skinnies, the pirates probably had small arms. Heavy arms makes for a better article and this is just a legal disclaimer that you really don't need to bother reading** but if you continue I would just go on to tell you that this blog takes no responsibility for any misinformation that may come from it. That is to say, you are the sole decision maker in your life. I am merely (Oatmeal Raisin Cookies) here (Delicious) to (gooy) make (oatmeal filled) suggestions (warm) and it is your (just out of the oven) responsibility to decide on which (home baked cookies) news stories to believe.

**Apparently I am not legaly allowed to suggest in any way, shape, or form*** that you needent read the legal disclaimer.****

***Aren't shape and form the same thing?

****Take legal disclaimer in the most general sence of the word*****

*****By word; read: phrase.******

******Ok, ok, I'm done^

^Seriously. Stop reading.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Techno: The lowest art form.

Remember that disputatio when Pastor Wilson talked about drek and how it is easy to be great rock and roll artist, but to be a great classical musician required far more skill. Well, on my list: after watching this video, I have decided to put techno near the bottom. This means that to make a good/catchy techno song requires little to no skill.

Watch:

Friday, April 24, 2009

Speaks for itself:

(Click the picture for a better view.)

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Treehouses around the world:

Some guy who owns a tree house building company has traveled the world looking for the best.

Here are some of the best:

The Canadian's entry:
Entries from Washington:
More from Washington:
From Pennsylvania:
Another from Pennsylvania:
From New Jersey:
The Brazilian entry:The Japanese entry:
And finally, my favorite entry, the Endor entry:

Yep, when it comes to tree houses, no one can beat my cousins:

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Fail:

We've all heard the expression, and have seen some of the funny pictures to go along with it.

Example:

But where exactly did it originate? These guys have the answer:

High Speed Chase:



Some of the comments on this video are amazing.


Perfect example of the male and female ways of reading things!

Female host: "It looks like she's confused, she doesn't know what to do next, she's lost"
Male: "She's doing donuts!"
Here's another:

the play by play from the news anchors makes this even funnier not to mention the people in the background laughing.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Stupid Questions...

Have you ever received an e-mail from someone who was wondering what the population of Cambodia is? You, being the friendly person you are, reply to them: 14,200,000.

Well, I'm done. I'm not e-mailing back responses. From now on I am e-mailing a link.

Example:

Dear Elmo,

After much research and interviews of the local Cambodian population, I've found out the population. Having been the good citizen, I think I shall retire to my lazy boy and much on a cookie or three.

Hope this helps,

Cookie.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

And now for something completely Different:

Spokane residents smuggle suds over green brands

SPOKANE, Wash. – The quest for squeaky-clean dishes has turned some law-abiding people in Spokane into dishwater-detergent smugglers. They are bringing Cascade or Electrasol in from out of state because the eco-friendly varieties required under Washington state law don't work as well. Spokane County became the launch pad last July for the nation's strictest ban on dishwasher detergent made with phosphates, a measure aimed at reducing water pollution. The ban will be expanded statewide in July 2010, the same time similar laws take effect in several other states. [Now this is a black market I could get into!]

But it's not easy to get sparkling dishes when you go green. [When you go green, everything becomes harder...]

Many people were shocked to find that products like Seventh Generation, Ecover and Trader Joe's left their dishes encrusted with food, smeared with grease and too gross to use without rewashing them by hand. The culprit was hard water, which is mineral-rich and resistant to soap.

As a result, there has been a quiet rush of Spokane-area shoppers heading east on Interstate 90 into Idaho in search of old-school suds. [Shady looking ladies line the sides of the streets attempting to make money on the black market.]

Real estate agent Patti Marcotte of Spokane stocks up on detergent at a Costco in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho, and doesn't care who knows it.

"Yes, I am a smuggler," she said. "I'm taking my chances because dirty dishes I cannot live with."

(In truth, the ban applies to the sale of phosphate detergent — not its use or possession — so Marcotte is not in any legal trouble.) [This is more or less how everything is. It's not illegal if you buy it, it's illegal for someone to sell it.]

Marcotte said she tried every green brand in her dishwasher and found none would remove grease and pieces of food. Everybody she knows buys dishwasher detergent in Idaho, she said.

Supporters of the ban acknowledge it is not very popular.

"I'm not hearing a lot of positive feedback," conceded Shannon Brattebo of the Washington Lake Protection Association, a prime mover of the ban. "I think people are driving to Idaho." [Awww, I think we hurt her feelings... Someone should give her a hug.]

Steve Marcy, manager of the Costco in Coeur d'Alene, about 10 miles east of the Washington state line, estimated that sales of dishwasher detergent in his store have increased 10 percent. He knows where the customers are coming from.

"I'll joke with them and ask if they are from Spokane," Marcy said. "They say, `Oh yeah.'"

Shoppers can still buy phosphate detergents in Washington state by venturing outside Spokane County, but Idaho is more convenient to many Spokane residents. [There is something weird going on with the sentence: "but idaho is more convenient to many Spokane residents." I think they should find a word to replace convenient. There is nothing convenient about Idaho.]

Phosphates — the main cleaning agent in many detergents and household cleaners — break down grease and remove stains. However, the chemicals are difficult to remove in wastewater treatment plants and often wind up in rivers and lakes, where they promote the growth of algae. And algae gobble up oxygen in the water that fish need to survive. [Wait, there are lakes in Spokane?]

While traditional detergents are up to 9 percent phosphate, those sold in Spokane County can contain no more than 0.5 percent. [And those sold in Spokane City can contain no more than 0.0031 percent.]

The Washington Lake Protection Association has launched a campaign to encourage people to give the environmentally friendly brands a fair chance. The group suggests consumers experiment with different brands or install water softeners to help the green detergents work better. [Just give them a chance... Fairness for the Dishsoap! Leave no soap behind! Equal Rights for Non-Phosphate detergent! "Just because some detergents don't have as many phosphates doesn't make them any worse, honey, it just makes them different."]

"Clean lakes and clean dishes do not have to be mutually exclusive," said association president-elect Jacob McCann. [Pretty sure there is a song: I want it all.]

Phosphates have been banned in laundry detergent nationally since 1993. Washington was the first state where the Legislature passed a similar ban against dishwasher detergents, in 2006. The ban is being phased in, starting with Spokane County.

"It's nice to be on the cutting edge," Spokane resident Ken Beck, an opponent of the ban, said sarcastically.

Among other states that have banned or are banning phosphates in dishwasher detergent are Maryland, Pennsylvania, Virginia, Michigan, Vermont, Minnesota, Illinois, Massachusetts and New York. A bill on Capitol Hill would impose a nationwide ban. [Darn, my states in that list. Guess I'll be on the blackmarket in 2010 in search of phosphates.]

The Soap and Detergent Association, which represents manufacturers, initially fought the bans. But as the movement gained strength across the country, the association asked legislatures to delay bans until July 2010 to allow for a uniform rollout of products.[Wait, there's a Soap and Detergent Association? Man, I should start the Wooden Pencil Association then get government grants to give number 3 pencils a fair chance at fame.]

The industry has been working to develop better low-phosphate detergents, said Dennis Griesing, vice president of the manufacturers group.

"This is an irrevocable, nationwide commitment on the industry's part," he said.

For his part, Beck has taken to washing his dishes on his machine's pots-and-pans cycle, which takes longer and uses five gallons more water. Beck wonders if that isn't as tough on the environment as phosphates.

"How much is this really costing us?" Beck said. "Aren't we transferring the environmental consequences to something else?"[This Beck, he seems a decent fellow, I'd hate to kill him.]

You ask: "But where is the Pope in all of this? The Pope has better things to do: Bring Indulgences back!

Sunday, March 29, 2009

I'm still here...

I promise... I'm just... eating cookies.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

National Treasure IRL:


Museum finds "secret" message in Lincoln's watch

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A gold watch owned by Abraham Lincoln bears a message marking the start of the U.S. Civil War, but the president never knew of the "secret" inscription uncovered on Tuesday at the National Museum of American History.

The engraving, by watchmaker Jonathan Dillon, is dated April 13, 1861, and reads in part: "Fort Sumpter was attacked by the rebels" and "thank God we have a government." [Talk about a guy with really small handwriting.]

The museum said it agreed to open the watch to find out if the message really was there after it was contacted by the watchmaker's great-great-grandson, Doug Stiles of Waukegan, Illinois. [Doug Stiles is one of many aliases the man we all know as Benjamin Gates goes by.]

The American Civil War began when Confederate troops opened fire on Fort Sumter in Charleston, South Carolina, on April 12, 1861. [I love how they have to put these in here for the people who don't know. I suppose it is Reuters.]

Forty-five years later, Dillon the watchmaker told The New York Times that he was repairing Lincoln's watch when he heard that the first shots of the Civil War had been fired. [Isn't this news story a bit late for something that happened in 1906?]

Dillon said he unscrewed the dial of the watch and used a sharp instrument to mark the historic day on the president's watch. He told the newspaper that, as far as he knew, no one had ever seen the inscription. [The watchmaker did.

Ahem...
Watchmaker, Watchmaker,
Make me a watch.
Cook up a clock,
Tick up a tock,
Watchmaker, Watchmaker,
Look through your gears,
And make me a perfect watch.

Watchmaker, Watchmaker,

Ok ok, I'll stop.]

"Lincoln never knew of the message he carried in his pocket," Brent Glass, director of the National Museum of American History said in a statement. "It's a personal side of history about an ordinary watchman being inspired to record something for posterity." [What? That's so disappointing... It just said what he already knew. He knew the information the message wrote. I was really hoping it would be something like, "Don't go to the theatre, our agents have uncovered a plot." That would have been SUPER cool. 'Course, if that was the case, it wouldn't just be in the Reuters: Oddly Enough section. It would be all over the cover of Conspiracy Today.]

Lincoln was elected the 16th president of the United States in November 1860. In the lead up to the Civil War, South Carolina and six other states seceded from the Union before Lincoln's inauguration in March 1861. [George Washington crossed the Delaware, Achilles was dipped in magic soup by his mother, and the Pope is the religious head of the Catholic church.]

(Reporting by JoAnne Allen; Editing by Patricia Zengerle)

It's not just a double date...

Hard times lead 21 couples to share wedding



HARGEISA, Somalia (Reuters) - Twenty-one couples have shared a joint wedding in Somalia, where the traditional lavish celebrations are increasingly unaffordable at a time of economic slump. [The priest at the wedding was a little white talking rat. Among the congregants were dolphins watching from the ocean coast. I think I finally understand why 42 is the meaning of life.]

The function was held on Tuesday at a hotel in Hargeisa, capital of Somalia's breakaway region of Somaliland, and was arranged by Telsom, a telecoms company that employs all the bridegrooms. [After this the company quickly went bankrupt due to lack of employees for the week following.]

The Horn of Africa region is staunchly Muslim, so the men and women celebrated separately. [Nevermind...]

The expense of a traditional wedding, especially when economic times are hard, is driving some young Somalis to leave their homeland. [Notice: It's the weddings, not the economic hardtimes.]

"One of the reasons why the youth migrate [Good use of the word there.] is weddings are expensive, and I appeal to the community to simplify marriage by reducing the cost," Sheikh Mohamed Sheikh Omar Dirir [One person not 5.], one of the area's most prominent religious leaders, told guests. [Little did you know, rats actually have 5 names.]

(Reporting by Husein Ali Nur; Writing by Daniel Wallis; Editing by Phakamisa Ndzamela)

Monday, March 9, 2009

Short, Stubborn, Socialists...

China 'will not have democracy'

Wu Bangguo addresses the NPC on 9 March 2009
Mr Wu said China's state organs would follow the Party line

China will never adopt Western-style democracy with a multi-party system, its top legislator has said.

Parliament chief Wu Bangguo said that China would draw on the achievements of all cultures but would not "simply copy" the West. [China has finally hit those rebelious teen years; those years where they want independence and don't just want to do what their parents tell them.]

Communist Party leadership should be strengthened and "the correct political orientation" maintained, he said. [Either a) The quote is in the wrong place, or b) He said it as he was extremely calm. I much prefer option B (I like that writing style).

Mr Wu made the comments in a speech to the National People's Congress, China's annual parliament session.

He ranks second only to President Hu Jintao in the Communist Party hierarchy. [You see, every communist leader--upon taking up the torch of leadership--must compete in a three legged footrace with his wife. This footrace does not have multiple parties competing; it is merely a race against the clock. Apparently, Hu Jintao and his wife are pretty fast.]

"We must draw on the achievements of all cultures," he told delegates in Beijing's Great Hall of the People. [As the Pope maintained, looked on.]

REYNOLDS' CHINA
James Reynolds
No wiggle room whatsoever... but other leaders have left the door slightly more ajar

"But we will never simply copy the system of Western countries or introduce a system of multiple parties holding office in rotation," he added.

"Although China's state organs have different responsibilities, they all adhere to the line, principles and policies of the Party." [...pertaining to the people of the papaland.

Correspondents say Mr Wu's statement appeared to be a deliberate rejection of calls in China and abroad for greater liberalisation. [Newsflash!: I don't think he meant for it to be taken as anything else.]

China faces a number of highly sensitive anniversaries this year, including 20 years since the military crushed pro-democracy protests in Tiananmen Square, and 50 years since an anti-China uprising in Lhasa that sparked the Dalai Lama's flight into exile.

The authorities in Beijing also fear that the economic downturn and job losses for millions of migrant workers could trigger outbreaks of social unrest.

My two Chocolate Chips: China will become democratic within 20 years. People always become extremely stubborn just when they realize there might be some-ting wong, with their views.

(source: BBC)

Sunday, March 8, 2009

That Sneaky Basterd...

From the BBC (hence all the funny spelling.)



US 'not winning in Afghanistan'

US President Barack Obama
President Obama is reviewing US strategy on Afghanistan

US President Barack Obama has said the US is not winning in Afghanistan, saying it is more complex than Iraq.

In an interview with the New York Times, he said reaching out to the Taleban could be an option, in the same way outreach had worked in Iraq.

However, the "fierce independence among tribes" in Afghanistan presented different challenges, he said.

A month into his presidency, Mr Obama authorised the deployment of up to 17,000 extra US troops to Afghanistan. [It would appear this is a giant scheme to get attention off of Iraq. This way he doesn't have to carry through with all his promises on what would happen in Iraq.]

Asked if the US was winning in Afghanistan, Mr Obama replied: "No." [When the Pope was asked, he said "No." as well.]

Mr Obama and his advisors are reviewing the US strategy on Afghanistan, and have looked at what has worked in Iraq.

Those tribes are multiple and sometimes operate at cross purposes, and so figuring all that out is going to be much more of a challenge
-President Obama

"There may be some comparable opportunities in Afghanistan and in the Pakistani region," he said on board Air Force One.

Mr Obama, referring to the US policy in Iraq, said: "If you talk to General [David] Petraeus, I think he would argue that part of the success in Iraq involved reaching out to people that we would consider to be Islamic fundamentalists, but who were willing to work with us because they had been completely alienated by the tactics of al-Qaeda in Iraq." [The whole "reaching out" buisness just make me smile concidering how that word is used in the modern Church. Perhaps the Catholics would be our best bet in Afghanistan.]

However, Afghanistan could be a different situation.

"The situation in Afghanistan is, if anything, more complex," he told the newspaper.

"You have a less governed region, a history of fierce independence among tribes.

"Those tribes are multiple and sometimes operate at cross purposes, and so figuring all that out is going to be much more of a challenge."

Terror suspects

He also discussed what the US would do if a terror suspect appeared in a country without an extradition arrangement with the US. [This is what president Obama would do if he was in the same room as a terror suspect (or so I hope):

Terror Suspect: First things first, to the death.
President Obama: No. To the pain.
Terror Suspect: I don't think I'm quite familiar with that phrase.
President Obama: I'll explain and I'll use small words so that you'll be sure to understand, you warthog faced buffoon.
Terror Suspect: That may be the first time in my life a man has dared insult me.
Obama: It won't be the last. To the pain means the first thing you will lose will be your feet below the ankles. Then your hands at the wrists. Next your nose.
Terror Suspect: And then my tongue I suppose, I killed you too quickly the last time. A mistake I don't mean to duplicate tonight.
The One: I wasn't finished. The next thing you will lose will be your left eye followed by your right.
Terror Suspect: And then my ears, I understand let's get on with it.
Neo: WRONG. Your ears you keep and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God! What is that thing," will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever.
Terror Suspect: I think your bluffing.
Superman: It's possible, Pig, I might be bluffing. It's conceivable, you miserable, vomitous mass, that I'm only lying here because I lack the strength to stand. But, then again... perhaps I have the strength after all.
[slowly rises and points sword directly at the prince]
The one who was born in a manger who defied the Matrix and came from another planet: DROP... YOUR... SWORD!

"There could be situations - and I emphasise 'could be' because we haven't made a determination yet - where, let's say that we have a well-known al-Qaeda operative that doesn't surface very often, appears in a third country with whom we don't have an extradition relationship or would not be willing to prosecute, but we think is a very dangerous person," he said. ["Hypothetically speaking, lets say I have this friend and he has finals next week and he hasn't studied yet, would he be in trouble--hypothetically speaking..." Could he be anymore vague?]

"I think we still have to think about how do we deal with that kind of scenario," he added. [I highly advice people to use this quote in almost any given situation. If you place it on a test, you may get a few points for "deep thought".]

More new on the Pope:

Seeing how I'm obsessed with the Pope and cookies, here's a story about the pope. I'll tell you what this has to do with cookies later.

Pope heading to Holy Land in May

Pope Benedict XVI
Pope Benedict said he would pray for "the precious gift of unity and peace

Pope Benedict XVI has confirmed the first papal trip to the Holy Land since Pope John Paul II's visit in 2000.

The pontiff will visit the sites of Jesus' life in an 8-15 May trip taking in parts of Israel, the Palestinian territories and Jordan.

He is expected to visit Jordan's largest mosque in Amman, and stop in Jerusalem, Bethlehem and Nazareth.

The news follows a row over the Pope's lifting of excommunication on a bishop who denies the extent of the Holocaust.

'Unity and peace'

Pope Benedict confirmed the latest visit in his traditional Sunday noontime blessing.

He said he would pray for "the precious gift of unity and peace for the Middle East and all of humanity".

The Vatican has been embroiled in an international row in recent weeks after Pope Benedict lifted an excommunication order on a British-born bishop who denies the extent of the Holocaust.

The Vatican later said the Pope had been unaware of Bishop Richard Williamson's views and had ordered him to recant. [Politics in the Catholic church? No...]

At the end of February, the bishop said that if he had known the full harm his comments would cause, he would not have made them. [Most six-year-olds understand this concept.]

But the Vatican immediately rejected the apology and told him to "unequivocally and publicly" withdraw his comments. [I don't see what this has to do with his trip to the Holy Land. But I do like when people reject apologies based on them not being publicly given.]

When I said I would tell you what this had to do with cookies earlier, I was kidding. It has nothing to do with cookies, surprised you didn't figure this out earlier.

Saturday, March 7, 2009

A new way to smuggle:

(This is just some random picture that goes with the story. It has nothing to do with the story. I even have my doubts that it was taken at the Barcelona airport...)


MADRID (Reuters) - A 66-year-old passenger who arrived at Barcelona airport in a wheelchair and with a leg cast made entirely of cocaine was arrested on Friday as he tried to get through customs. [You gotta admit, the guy had creativity.]

Th e man, flying from Santiago, Chile, also had cocaine stashed in six cans of beer and two folding stools in his lu ggage, the Interior Ministry said. Police confiscated nearly 5 kilograms (11 pounds) of the drug in total. [Use your imagination on how the folding stools worked...]

Police believe the man, or his accomplices, may have broken the leg on purpose so as not to arouse the suspicions of customs officials. Spain is the primary entry point for cocaine into Europe and is the largest consumer of the drug in the European Union. [How did the suspicion get aroused in the first place? I'm betting a dog did it. Started sniffing the cast; then barking; then the police took a closer look at it. Though, if I was him, I wouldn't have gone through the trouble of actually breaking the leg. I'd just put a cast over it.]

(Reporting by Sonya Dowsett; Editing by Phakamisa Ndzamela)

When asked about this event, the pope had nothing to say.


Space: The Final Frontier.

      Nasa launches Earth hunter probe:

Nasa launches Kepler telescope

An unmanned Nasa mission to search the sky for Earth-like planets with the potential to host life has launched from Cape Canaveral in Florida.

The Kepler telescope will orbit the Sun to watch a patch of space thought to contain about 100,000 stars like ours. 

It will look for the slight dimming of light from these "suns" as planets pass between them and the spacecraft. [This is explained later; don't worry.]

Controllers took their first opportunity to launch the probe, at 0349GMT (2249EST) on 7 March.

Kepler blasted off atop a Delta II rocket from Cape Canaveral Air Force Station.

Kepler focal plane array (Nasa)
Kepler will use the largest camera system ever launched into space

"This is a historical mission; it's not just a science mission," said Dr Edward Weiler, Associate Administrator for the Science Mission Directorate at Nasa. [This said in an attempt to make a "One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind" caliber saying.]

"I maintain that it really attacks some very basic human questions that have been part of our genetic code since that first man or woman looked up into the sky and asked the question: 'are we alone?'." [I'm pretty sure they didn't ask that. They thought we were alone. It would go against everything they thought to say that we weren't alone. They even developed Geocentric views of the world so that we would be alone. I for one, blame Science Fiction for the idea that we aren't alone.]

Equipped with the largest camera ever launched into space, it is the first mission designed to find rocky worlds orbiting Sun-like stars. Planets located in a warm zone - known as the habitable zone - might host liquid water on their surfaces. [The real question is when will it get to the first star? A couple million years? Don't they need hyperdrive to get to other habitable planets?]

And where there is liquid water, scientists argue, there is at least the potential for life. 

'Flea in headlights'

Of the 300-plus extrasolar planets discovered to date, only a handful are thought to be rocky like the Earth, and none are Earth-mass. The vast majority are gas giants like Jupiter or so-called ice giants like Neptune. [There's a very neat scientific video on this subject at the Creation Museum, I recommend anyone in the Ohio area visit and watch it.]

This is thought to be due to the technological limitations of current telescope technology, rather than a lack of Earth-mass planets in our galaxy. 

Kepler will detect the periodic dimming of stars caused by transiting planets.

THE KEPLER SPACE TELESCOPE:
Infographic (BBC)
-Will study more than 100,000 suns
-Continuously for 4 to 6+ years
-Tuned to see Earth-size planets
-Will target the habitable zone
-Also see Mars to Jupiter sizes
-First results within 3 months

Some star systems are oriented in such a way that their planets cross in front of their stars, as seen from Earth's point of view. During these transits, the planets cause their star's light to slightly dim, or wink. [Speaking of which, Jupiter has been able to be seen, and should continue to be in the sky for a little while still.]

The orbiting observatory can register changes in brightness of only 20 parts per million.

"If Kepler were to look down at a small town on Earth at night from space, it would be able to detect the dimming of a porch light as somebody passed in front," said James Fanson, Kepler project manager at Nasa's Jet Propulsion Laboratory in California. [This thing would be one sweet spy satalite.]

He commented: "Trying to detect Jupiter-size planets crossing in front of their stars is like trying to measure the effect of a mosquito flying by a car's headlight.

"Finding Earth-sized planets is like trying to detect a very tiny flea in that same headlight." [Please, I can see that with my naked eye.]

William Borucki, Kepler chief scientist from Nasa's Ames Research Center in California, said: "We will monitor a wide range of stars; from small cool ones, where planets must circle closely to stay warm, to stars bigger and hotter than the Sun, where planets must stay well clear to avoid being roasted."

Venus transit (BBC)
Closer to home: Venus is pictured making a transit of our Sun 

If the mission does find Earth-size planets in the habitable zones of stars, it should find them first around suns that are smaller than our own. In the case of small stars, this habitable zone is located closer in, so planets circling in this comfortable region will take less time to complete one lap. 

This means it will take less time for Kepler to find them and for other ground telescopes to confirm their existence.

Any Earth-size planets orbiting in the habitable zones of stars the size of our Sun would take at least three years to be confirmed. [Unless someone discovers hyperdrive!]

The telescope has a very large field of view, which it needs in order to observe the necessary large number of stars.

Kepler will stare at the same star field for the entire mission monitoring the brightnesses of more than 100,000 stars for the mission's three-and-a-half-year lifetime. [Anyone know what'll happen to Kepler in 3 1/2 years? If it were up to me, I'd totally fly it into the sun.]

The spacecraft will be launched into an orbit where it will drift behind Earth as it circles the Sun. This will ensure our planet does not block the stars which need to be observed continuously by the observatory.

Getting answers

Dr Borucki suggested the mission could make major contributions to understanding other star systems, including the unresolved question of how they form. But he cautioned that the knowledge still to be accumulated was vast.

"If you look at the giant planets, we have found 340 of these. People say: 'Why would you need any more?' [Among these people was the Pope himself who said, "Today we tend to be a greedy society; always wanting more than we need."]

"My guess is that by understanding giant planets and small planets we are going to make dramatic discoveries about other planetary systems. But I don't expect us to have all the answers in three-and-a-half years." [You're expectations will be met.]

Finding Earth-size planets is one thing, confirming life - even simple microbial life - exists on them is another matter altogether; and will require future telescopes capable of seeing trace gasses in the planets' atmospheres that are a possible signature for biology. [And to think we were/are looking for it on Mars.]

"We certainly won't find ET but we might find ET's home by looking at all of these stars," said Bill Borucki. [ET phone home?]

Why aren't they spending their time trying to develope hypserdrives!? Le'me take a moment to inform you all of the view that I hold regarding Science Fiction type Realism:

Here's how it is:

In about five hundred years, the earth will get used up. They will begin terraforming a whole new galaxy of earth. Some, rich and flush with new technologies. Some... not so much. The Central Planets, will form an alliance, and will wage war to bring everyone under their rule. A few idiots will try and fight them, amoung them -- Malcolm Reynolds.

Malcolm Reynolds, will be the Captain of the Serenity. Serenity will be a transport ship, a firefly class. She'll have a good crew: Fighters, pilot, mechanic. They'll even manage to pick up a peacher, for some reason, and a bona fide companion. There'll be a doctor, too. He'll take his genius sister out of some alliance camp, they'll be keeping a low profile. You understand. If someone has a job, they'll do it. They won't much care what it is. 

But a little history on Cap't Reynolds: He was brought up on a ranch on the planet Shadow. He later served as a sergeant for the Independent Faction and fought in the Unification War against the Alliance. After the overwhelming defeat of the Independants he traveled to the more primitive distant planets, where he acquired his own ship: Serenity.

Chavez calls for Socialism in America:


Fri Mar 06 2009 17:13:48 ET

Caracas - Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez on Friday called upon US President Barack Obama to follow the path to socialism, which he termed as the "only" way out of the global recession. "Come with us, align yourself, come with us on the road to socialism. This is the only path. Imagine a socialist revolution in the United States," Chavez told a group of workers in the southern Venezuelan state of Bolivar. [So he didn't actually say it to the President? I'm imagining it. It looks something like this: 
The controversial Venezuelan leader, who taunted the United States as a source of capitalistic evil under former president George W Bush, added that the United States needs a leader who can take it to a "higher" destiny and bring it out of "the sad role that it has been given, as a murderous, attacking power that is hated all around the world." [The noive of some people. On another note: I wish his first name was Igor instead of Hugo, it would just make things so much more fun!]

Chavez said that people are calling Obama a "socialist" for the measures of state intervention he is taking to counter the crisis, so it would not be too far-fetched to suggest that he might join the project of "21st century socialism" that the Venezuelan leader is heading. [21st Century Socialism is pictured on the right. Attempting to make sense of this may send you into an infanite loop, strongly advice against any and all attempts.]

"Nothing is impossible. Who would have thought in the 1980s that the Soviet Union would disappear? No one," he said.

"That murderous, genocidal empire has to end, and some day there has to come a leader ... who interprets the best of a people who also include human beings who suffer, endure, weep and laugh," the outspoken Chavez said.

Developing...
[I don't think there is anymore to this story. Chavez is a socialist, all socialists are mortal. Therefore Chavez is mortal.]

(sourse: Drudge Report)